Why should I see a therapist?
I have never been in therapy, except for attending couples therapy some years ago, which, to be honest, didn’t help much — if at all — beyond confirming the inescapable truth that we were not compatible. However, through that process, I might have shed some of the shame and guilt of losing my marriage. It allowed me to open up and share more about myself — my mistakes, feelings, and desires.
Recently, I was reminded of what seems to be an untouched early childhood wound. This surfaced as an intense response of anxiety and fear at the thought of losing a connection with a friend. Now, I find myself contemplating therapy. But I’m not entirely convinced. So far, my greatest learning and healing have come from friends who have listened to me, witnessed my vulnerability, mirrored me by sharing their perceptions, and sometimes challenged me by calling me out or questioning me. Their love has been profoundly validating.
My core wounds tend to surface in connections and relationships, which is why I believe they can only be addressed in connection, not in isolation or through intellectual exercises. Of course, I don’t expect a loving and committed partner to be my therapist — nor do I want them to be. But the idea of being seen, accepted, loved, and witnessed for who I am while growing and evolving together is most nourishing and healing.
