Member-only story
shackles
Sep 22, 2024
my stubborn soul is having a hard time
admitting that being cared for
and loved
fills me
with terror and delight
to equal measure
I could not be more scared
turned on by fear
and desire at the same time
pretending to look for deep intimacy
though feeling safe in the arms of rejection
the ecstasy of its distress
not for me to see
the keys to my unbound self
where never with you
not even in the enchantment of your presence
found in the torment
and the satisfying joy of being left
blame shrouded my understanding
once I began to see
once I began to feel
no difference in my arousal
between feeling fear or excitement
no difference in sensation
between anxiety or joy
I knew
I had the keys
to unshackle myself
in my own hands
